guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
