the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
