Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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