This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Acid is not a monday night drug
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
