True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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