youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
