in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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