every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
