the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
