oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
