it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
a search helicopter?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize