Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
