God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
