I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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