this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
