dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
