I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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