Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
