Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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