I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
