Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
