I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
