she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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