the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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