My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize