white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
