Cold hands, warm shart.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
