He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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