Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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