Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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