Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
