There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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