I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize