I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
