I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You can't just leave with hair like that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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