While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So many bounce houses so little time
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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