I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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