i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
