She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think my vagina is haunted
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
