what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
