WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
