i barfeds in our rink
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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