what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
