I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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