apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
