My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
that may or may not have been my penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
