i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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