"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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