no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
