is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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