so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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