We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
