That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize