Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize