Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My breasts were aching with rage.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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