6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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