the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
