WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
