I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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