There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I want is dick and wine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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