Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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