I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
