My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
