can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize