He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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