I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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