I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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