he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
