Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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