I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
