so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
