If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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