You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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