I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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