and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Semen is not good for contacts.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
