Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
