If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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