Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
