I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
