People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
